Wednesday, June 4, 2014

my next project

First I want to say thank you to everyone who voted for me on the 50 Self-Published Books Worth Reading contest! Green Castles was named #31 and I am truly humbled by that! Here's the list in case you missed it:

Secondly, I want to say that I've been looking into formatting Green Castles into print. I plan to do that in another week or so and I will post on Facebook a link. Amazon has a site called CreateSpace that will print a paperback on demand so for those of you who said you'd read my book if only it was in print, it will soon be time to put your money where your mouth is! ;)

Now, here's what I really wanted to announce. I've been thinking for a long time about what my next project will be. The sequel to Green Castles (tentatively titled Silver Spires) has been tabled for now. I've known for a long time I wanted to write about a deeply personal issue I've struggled with for my entire life and that is my weight.

I've been fighting this battle since I was around eight years old. I was teased and harassed by other children as I grew up. I was bribed to lose weight. I was taken to the doctor and asked what could be done. I always felt like I embarrassed my parents because I was too big. When I was 14 everything changed. I decided to find out what would happen if I severely restricted my food intake while simultaneously exercising approximately four hours a day. I'm sure when I returned to school that fall many people thought I'd finally shed my "baby weight," but the truth was that I was starving myself.

 I had become obsessed, weighing myself and taking my measurements three times a day. Writing down every morsel that entered my mouth. Making mix-tapes to aerobicize to in my room all hours of the day and night (which may or may not have included Milli Vanilla and New Kids on The Block. ;))

As I grew older, I found myself caught in a vicious cycle between binging and dieting. Because of this as well as multiple pregnancies, I have been every weight at my adult height of (almost) 5'7" between 135 and 270. I am *still* on this pendulum even to this day, although I am staying on the heavy side of it these days. And you know what? I'm not alone in this. I'm not alone in my disordered relationship with food, nor my distorted body image. I am among millions of people who struggle every single day with these demons.

My book will be fiction, but the main character, Claire Sterling, struggles with these demons too. She finds herself recovering from a divorce and feeling completely lost when she contemplates the dating world. I am not afraid to admit that even *I* do not know what Claire will discover about herself. This story, which will be called Fat Girl, is still gestating in my mind. I hope you will stay tuned and we can figure out what happens to Claire together. :)

No comments:

Post a Comment